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Maybe you haven't heard about the FailSafe 1400, the bike that many magazines proclaimed as the greatest bike of all time.
Here is what I know. The FS1400 is manufactured in El Paso, Texas by German Rocket Scientists, who were laid off from their defense industry jobs at the end of the Cold War. The plan for the bike was the product of a software program, written to compile and analyze results of on-line surveys, taken from riders around the world. The 1400cc engine is controlled by a management system that allows the rider to select (using a dial in the cockpit) 7 different modes of operation that vary from economy (60 MPG) to performance (150mph, 10 sec. ¼ mile). The bike comes with a seat that is constructed with 37 different gel/air bladders and is controlled by a computer that instantly weighs the rider, analyzes their posterior configuration, and adjust the seat for comfort level, given the performance selection made with the cockpit engine management selection knob.
The seat is great, but you can't ignore the other features that make the FS1400 #1. To match the adjustability of the seat, the windshield and handlebars have been manufactured to be adjustable to an infinite number of positions. The handlebars move up and down and forward and backwards. The windshield rake has 38 different positions and the can also be extended upwards more that 8". The initial position for the handlebars and windshield are set by the seat computer - either (or both) can be changed by adjustment buttons located under the riders thumb on the handlebars.
The bike comes with a radar /cruise control system that not only controls the speed and warns the rider when other vehicles get too close, but also detects police band radars (including laser), jams their signal, and transmits an emergency call to their radio, insuring the officer is distracted or otherwise occupied when you ride by (the best message used so far is the one about hot doughnuts being served by a hot blonde at the Krispy Kreme). The radar system is effective out to a range of 15 miles. The lighting system is a group of 5 HID lights with a special tint that provides a safe tunnel of vision at 120 MPH through the darkest night while being designed not to blind old ladies and piss off truck drivers. Finally, the electronics suite includes the latest satellite transponder/tracker that can be traced from an easy to access website (complete with 47 different reporting formats), 3 panic buttons and a five year subscription. A bike like this wouldn't be complete without some way to carry your gear.
The FS1400 comes with 3 bags. In the sport mode, the bags are folded into the bike (much like the roof on a 57' Fairlane) and give the bike a streamlined shape and sporty appearance. In the tour mode, the bags expand to where each is large enough to hold 3 helmets. The bags also come with 2 liners each. One liner is removable can be used to pack the riders gear. The other liner has a special coating, developed by NASA during the Space Shuttle program, that allows them be used to carry gas. These liners are permanently fixed to the inside wall of each bag and connected to the fuel system.
The total capacity of the fuel system is exactly 11.5 gallons (giving a range of 660 miles before reserve). Of course, the FS1400 comes with all the normal electronic gear integrated into the cockpit. There is the new 3713 GPS, loaded with maps of all the countries on earth as well as a few on the Moon and Mars. There is a satellite radio/TV system (the bike is sold with 2 years free TV service). The TV picture is shown on the GPS screen (10") and the screen can be split to where you can view both the road maps and your favorite program. There is also a phone, adaptable to both cell and satellite service. The phone, like the radio/TV system, comes with 2 years of unlimited service. All of the audio products are routed to a controller that gives the owner options for overrides and transmits the product to helmet speaker (the size of a small button - the quality you would expect from your home stereo) using wireless technology.
I already mentioned the radar system, but did I tell you about the heating/cooling options available to the rider? The system is powered by solar/lunar panels, invisibly sunk into the front and back panels of the fairing, and is capable of keeping an Eskimo cool in Miami or a stripper warm in Ontario.
The bike is packaged with 7 spoke 17" wheels, outfitted with "V" rated tires (good for 30,000 miles). The suspension settings are also controlled by the performance management system and are again adjustable for the rider by a touch of a button on the handlebar.
Saving the best for last, the bike only weights 427 pounds, is painted with an new Dupont paint that is rider changeable (seven colors-again by a button on the handlebars) and is so slick that dirt and bug goo won't stick to it. The bike is expensive but is subsidized by a special government technology grant and can be purchased using a 10 yr. 0% loan. The warranty is applicable as long as payments are being made and covers all the normal parts as well as the tires, brakes shoes, battery, etc. Lastly, the FS company has extended a special invitation (all expenses paid) to all the riders that own a FS1400 to attend their annual Hooters Beach Blast. Failsafe has rented an amusement park for the event and everyone is staying in the beachfront Hilton. Be there or be square!
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